Loving as if they only got a little
by naali
Summary: A collection of one shot centering around Klaus and Caroline. One does not believe in love and one does not believe to be worthy of love.


**A collection of one shots mostly about Klaroline, but may also feature other characters. I am probably not going to update regularly, because I mostly write one shots when I am stuck with my other writing. But I am going to try my best. They are set in no certain timeline and are mostly random scenes. I hope you like it**

* * *

"You are dating Klaus?!" Caroline sighed as she heard Elenas appalled voice. She had hoped that she still had a bit time till she had to have this conversation, but it seemed that she had no such luck.

Facing her friend she internally cringed at her hurt expression.

"How long has this been going on?", her friend spat venomously. "Two months, but please, let me explain-" "No! There is nothing you could say to make this better, nothing!"

"Elena, listen to me. I am sorry. Okay? I wanted to tell you, I really did, but I knew that you would react this way." "Of course, I would react this way. He is a monster! How could you do this after all that he did?! He killed me for gods sake!", Elena yelled.

"To think that I actually thought you had changed. God, you are still the stupid and shallow girl you were when you were human. Still so insecure that you jump every guys bones as soon as they flash a smile at you. Why am I even surprised.", exclaimed Elena throwing her arms in the air in defeat.

Carolines jaw dropped. She could not believe what she just had heard.

"You did not just really say that, did you?" "Oh, I did. Problems facing the truth? Well, it is as it is."

Elena ran her hands through her hair. "But I would never have thought, that you would stoop this low. He killed so many people I cared for, people you cared for. Again he killed me and then wanted to use me as a blood bag. I mean, how dare you to even think about dating someone like him?"

Fury rose in Caroline. Once again it was all about Elena. The pain she was going through. How he was a monster for hurting her. Caroline was sick of it. For once she wanted to be selfish and not to care about what Elena might think. Her friend did it all the time, so why should she not do it, too.

But apparently one time of not thinking of Elena Gilberts feelings made you the source of all that is evil.

"How dare I? Really? Oh, I don´t know, maybe because he is the first person that ever made me feel loved? And the first to ever make me his first choice instead of merely second after they cannot have you? Maybe because I love him?", Caroline ranted back.

Elena laughed. "That is what this is about, Care? You are jealous of me? That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Well, next to you thinking that you actually love him. I mean, come on, how could you possibly love such a monster like him?" She paced around the dorm room.

Caroline scoffed. "God, you´re such a hypocrite." Elena span around. "What did you call me?"

Caroline stepped closer to her. She had enough. "I said you are a hypocrite. You are judging me for my relationship with Klaus, because of what he did to you, while you are dating Damon without wasting a second thought to how I might feel about it. In fact as soon as you hooked up with him, you ordered me to your house to brag about it. Did you forget what he did to me when I was human?"

"How he compelled me, raped me and used me as his chewing toy? Or after I turned, he tried to kill me. I just had killed accidently a man after waking up all alone in a hospital, not knowing what was happening to me or why I was suddenly craving blood and he tried to stake me! Did you forget all those things, Elena? Because I assure you I did not."

"That is different!", Elena exclaimed. "Damon has changed, he is not that person any more. His love for me changed him."

"Yeah, sure. He is just constantly killing people, harassing me and everyone else that is not you and is pretty much still the same person he was when he came here in the first place and still does not take responsibility for his actions but blames others for what he does. Face it, he had not changed in the least, you did."

"

What? That´s not true and you know it, Care!"

"Oh, it is, trust me. You know what the difference between us two is? I know what kind of person Klaus is and I accepted it. I have seen him at his best and I have seen him at his worst moments and I love him despite it. You on the other hand try to rationalize everything Damon does, being incapable of accepting that he might is not the great person you want him to be."

"You are talking nonsense, Caroline.", the anger was evident in Elenas face. "See there it is what I am talking about. You are in denial. Even worse, you expect me support your decision - which may I remind you involves dating the guy that raped and abused me just because it amused him, until he could get to you – while you think you can judge me for doing the same with Klaus. That is not only hypocritical of you but downright selfish.", Caroline was yelling now.

She was fighting to hold back her tears. "I would like to say that you were not self centred until you became a vampire, but that is not true. Even before that you barely thought of how I might feel.

How do you think is it to have to face the man that violated you, took away your will every single day? And how do you think does it feel to see that no one cares and every one simply forgives him?

It is the worst feeling that there is. And it will never end."

Elena looked stunned. She opened her mouth to say something, but Caroline was not finished yet.

"I used to have nightmares about what happened, you know? Until a few months ago, I would wake up panicking, drenched in sweat, fearing that it might not be over yet and he is coming for me again. Ridiculous, I know, no one would think twice about me when they have you. But still, the fear is there."

She lost the fight, tears were running down her face. She did not want to talk about it, but she could not stop. All the pain, the rage, the feeling of being left alone to drown in her sorrow that she had been holding back for so long, because she did not want to hurt the people around her, where breaking out.

"But why am I even complaining. I mean, you love him so surely it does not matter what he does, he automatically is a fucking saint. Because otherwise you would not be Miss Perfect Elena Gilbert, that is always everyones first choice and never does anything wrong. So it must be my fault, is it not? Surely if I had not been so insecure it would have never happened to me, forget that he compelled me and took away my will, Damon is not responsible in the least. Everything is stupid, shallow and useless Carolines fault! Look me in the eyes and tell me that this is not what you think, I dare you.", her voice, that had been becoming shriller and shriller, cracked at the last part. She wiped the remaining tears away. Taking a deep breath, she looked up towards the other girl, that was starring at her in shock.

"You have no right to judge me, Elena. You think I´m a bad friend? For your information: You have not been a friend for me in a long time either."

She picked up her bag from the floor. "Should anybody ask, I am with the monster." She left the room, leaving a speechless Elena behind.

* * *

**How do you think it was? Good? Bad? Criticism is always more than welcome.**

**That might have been a bit OOC ,but I really wish something like this would have happened in the show. Every time I think back to what happened to Caroline in S1 I get so angry. They took a serious subject and just scooted over it. And it was never mentioned again in later seasons. Just because it might present Damon in a not so perfect light. It is disgusting. **


End file.
